Building Trust

Trust is the foundation of successful mentoring, and it requires attention and develops over time. 

• Communicate clearly, demonstrate care, and openly discuss your roles, goals, and expectations.

• Be approachable and respond promptly to requests with a friendly, open, and accepting style.

• Show genuine interest, curiosity, and respect by listening actively, asking open-ended questions, expressing appreciation and gratitude, and avoiding judgment, critique, and assumptions.  

• Be willing to take chances and share bits of your own personal experience, including mistakes.

• Encourage individual strength, offer resources, and follow up on commitments.  

Showing Empathy

Empathy involves making a conscious and active attempt to understand how another person feels from that person’s point of view.  Mentees treated with empathy are more likely to feel at ease and bond.

• Listen without interrupting or focusing of what you want to say next.

• Take note of non-verbal communications like body language.

• Imagine yourself in that person’s shoes.

• Seek to understand even when you don’t agree.

• Identify biases that may interfere with your ability to empathize.

Promoting a Growth Mindset

A commitment to continuous improvement is essential in mentoring. Leading psychologists have studied motivation related to mindsets for professional development*. People with a fixed mindset believe they are born with certain intelligence, skills, and abilities, and avoid challenges for fear of defeat.  Those with a growth mindset develop strategies to improve, try new things, and learn from mistakes and feedback.  Individuals may toggle between mindsets and work to enhance a growth mindset.

As a mentor, you can encourage and promote a growth mindset with your mentee. 

• Model a growth mindset.

• Embrace imperfection.

• Allow time for self-reflection and emotional responses.

• Reframe challenges as opportunities, set goals, and suggest new approaches. 

• Reinforce the notion of simply not being there quite “yet.”

• Discuss the importance of self-care and positive self-talk.

Encouraging Vulnerability

Allowing oneself to be vulnerable in a mentoring relationship is key to personal and professional growth.  Research has shown a direct correlation between vulnerability, connection, growth, and happiness*.  Taking risks in thought, ideas, relationships, and action is a critical and necessary step to building courage, deepening bonds, and developing a sense of worthiness and fulfillment.

* Carol S. Dweck, https://psychology.stanford.edu/people/carol-dweck

* Brené Brown, The Power of Vulnerability, https://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_the_power_of_vulnerability